Some thoughts on turning 30……

Ten years ago 30 was a ‘magic number’ milestone by which I definitely wanted to have figured everything out and be settled….. whatever that means! Like there’s an ending to a journey and once you are ‘settled’ you have permission (from the universe?!) to live happily ever after in a mature, routinely manner. Not only with hindsight does this sound 100% non achievable, it also sounds f****** boring!

The closer I became to 30 the further back this ‘magic number’ became pushed …ok 31 will be fine …ok 33 at the latest then….36…37….40?? And when I thought about it the only reason I could find for having to have a number in the first place was because of children!

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Although I definitely would like to care for a child one day in the future (preferably my own but not necessarily), and very much look forward to this happening if I am lucky enough,I have never felt like if my life took the other path of no children, it would be without meaning. Nor did I feel like my sole ‘life’s purpose’ was to be a mother.

So at 29, and at a time when lots of my friends are now starting to settle I have decided to relinquish all responsibilities in my life; leave all my students and the room I rented, give away most of my worldly belongings (in one of my annual panicked attempts to be minimalist and stress-free) and travel Asia in what has now been reduced to a 20 litre backpack.

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Despite worrying that I would be noticeably older than a lot of my fellow travellers, I have been pleasantly surprised to have met so many people my age and above on this trip. I have been lucky enough to have met some amazing, inspiring people and to have had many interesting life conversations. By comparison to my similar trip I embarked on in my early 20’s, this time around I know the kinds of places I want to go and the type of people I want to meet. I know when I have been travelling for too long and need to settle for a bit, and I know when I have settled for too long and need to push my comfort zone again. How do I know this? Because of my 20’s.

 

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My 20’s consisted of the following:

1 x 2 year relationship, 1 x 3 year relationship  1 x open relationship a handful more wonderful men and women from whom I  learnt a great deal about myself and relationships (do’s and don’ts)

 

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A whole lot of therapy: counselling and support groups

 

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5 years studying a degree that I will likely never directly use but which I enjoyed, learnt some valuable skills and met some lovely friends 🙂

 

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A tefl qualification which has changed my life

 

Learning (with great heart-ache) what kinds of friends are good for me at different stages of my life….. and which are not 😦

 

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30+ different hair styles/ colours

8 x employed jobs, 4 x nannying jobs, a dabble in furniture restoration, my own English-teaching business, fostering of 30 + cats and the invaluable realisation that I don’t have to work full-time

 

1 x nephew and soon to be sister in law

 

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1 x move to a different city (what took me so long?!)

 

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Finally becoming friends with  my mum

 

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Looking at this list makes me so excited about what my 30’s can hold now I have ‘unlocked’ certain life features from level 20’s that how can I possibly be worried about my 30’s. In fact I welcome it with open arms and I invite all my fellow 29’ers to do the same!

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Arwa says:

    I LOVE THIS !! Love all your posts Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tom Alfry says:

    Fantastic post Laura. You describe it so well and I love when you say: “now I have ‘unlocked’ certain life features from level 20’s that how can I possibly be worried about my 30’s.”
    Life sets us up to take on challenges and overcome them and you are clearly doing that, but with an openness and calmness that is a pleasure to read.
    Keep on writing and I’ll keep on reading,
    Tom 🙂

    Like

    1. lauragoss8 says:

      Thanks so much Tom that’s lovely 🙂

      Like

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